OMG!!!! I am so stressed and scared and proud all at the same time. My eldest lad is Einstein he is 11, he has a best friend called C, well C called round earlier and asked if Einstein would like to go to the youth club with him. My initial response was not a chance in hell. But Einstein liked the idea. Now he isn't a very social kid, he likes to play with one or two kids at the most and regularly likes to be on his own. This is cool with him and me. Tonight shocked me as I would never have expected him to want to try youth club. C explained what it is like there and I reminded him that not all kids behave and some smoke etc, he looked at me and said 'I'm not stupid, I know smoking will kill me and alcohol probably would too'. So off he has gone, with credit on his phone, a lift home organised, and some cash in his pocket for sweets. I'm now pretty much pacing the house, waiting for 8.30pm to arrive when my baby gets home.
Now you might be thinking I am an over protective parent, yeah I might be, but Einstein has some issues, as yet undiagnosed, but probably ASD, he also has sensory processing issues. So if the disco is too loud he may cower and cover his ears, if he is on a computer game he can become so engrossed that he doesnt know what is happening around him, he may chew his t-shirt, he is not street wise and gets scared very easily. I worry that he will be an easy target for bullies, which he has not really experienced from other kids, I know his friend is with him but I don't think C would know what to do if something happened. So I've rung the youth centre and spoken to a member of staff there and explained, her words were 'it's a shame none of the other parents of the kids here care this much about their kids' she also promised that all staff would be told to keep an eye on him. But it reminds me of the kind of area we live in, many of the families here are the sort to kick the kids out at 8am on weekends and school holidays and tell the kids to be home for 7,8 or 9pm, C is one of those kids, parents don't care where their children are or what they are doing. This worries me and I don't want my son to caught up in any trouble. Home educating was one way I could protect my kids from bad influences like this, but I want to be able to trust that they will also make the right choices if they were ever in a bad situation. It's a hard call, but as Einstein wanted to go, I have let him go, secretly hoping he doesnt like it and doesnt want to go again. I know the kind of trouble I got up to at youth club, because I was easily led, although I was 15 then. I just hope my parenting choices have been the right ones, and that I have an amazing son that will be ok.
I have never thought about this stage of the kids lives, we've talked about what they think they will be like as adults, but not the pre-teen and teen years. I suppose I really hoped they would always be my little babies.
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